The Fried Ice Cream Laughter Manufacturing Company

A scientist!  Like Darwin, only funnier.

Or a bodyguard.  Like Kevin Costner.

Stay with me…

I totally cried (a little bit) the first time I watched the interweb sensation, Christian the Lion. 

Of course, Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You” gets me every time.  So, having that particular tune playing behind the inspiring video really upped the ante from a “creating an emotional wreck” point of view.  If you haven’t already, go watch it, let’s see how you do…

So here’s my hypothesis:  Lion Reunion + Bodyguard Soundtrack = Tears of Joy.

Further testing will of course be necessary, so you know what that means.  I need more lions, and I need more hippies.  Some hippies could be lost in the experimental process, but that’s a price I’m willing to pay in the name of science.

Someday the formula for creating tears of joy will be mine, and I will put all of the pharmaceutical companies out of business.  Instead of Prozac and the rest, everyone will carry around a vial of “Dr. Zach’s Handy-Dandy Tears of Joy Tonic” and when they are stressed out over a math test, or crabby parents, or a lost love they will pop the top, take a slug, and within moments be reduced to a puddle of jubilant tears and snot.

My first patient will be none other than Whitney Houston.  Because “Dr. Zach’s” will not only bankrupt Eli Lilly, it will also eliminate the need for crack dealers. 

When I grow up, I wanna save the world, one troubled soul at a time.

Patent pending.